Younger sister refuses to pay for $600 wedding cake she had offered to cover after bride-to-be uninvites her boyfriend of 3 years from her wedding

Weddings are great until someone decides your love life is not "official enough" to come with you. 

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  • A younger sister who earns well offers to pay for a six‑hundred‑dollar wedding cake and everyone is happy. The cake is fancy the occasion is big and her contribution feels like a real gesture. Then the older sister starts cutting plus ones to keep the guest list under control. She tells her younger sibling that her boyfriend of three years is not engaged so he cannot come. At the same time she lets a cousin bring a guy she has been dating for two months because they live together. The rules are not about love they are about fitting someone’s image of what counts.

  • Close-up portrait of a woman with long blonde hair looking into the camera outdoors at sunset, softly lit by warm golden-hour light with a blurred natural background.
    via babigraf

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITJ for refusing to pay for my sisters wedding cake after she "uninvited" my boyfriend?

    So, i'm in a bit of a mess with my family right now and I need to know if i'm actually being the jerk here.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • My older sister (27F) is getting married in 3 months. Since i (24F) make decent money, i offered to pay for her wedding cake as my gift.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • Its a custom designer cake that costs about $600. She was super happy about it at first.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • But last week, she called me and said that because the guest list is getting too full, she has to cut some plus ones.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • She told me my boyfriend of 3 years cant come anymore. Her reasoning? You guys arent engaged yet, so it's not official.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • The thing is, she's still letting our cousin bring a guy she's been dating for two months just because they live together.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • Close-up of a woman with blonde hair resting her head on her hand outdoors, eyes cast downward with a pensive expression, softly lit by natural light against a blurred green background.
    via babigraf

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The younger sister looks at this and decides the cake and the guest list are not separate if they are both about who belongs. If her partner is not welcome then her money suddenly feels like a donation to a party that treats her like half a guest. She tells her sister she is canceling the payment and gives her a week to find another way to cover the deposit. The parents then call her selfish and say she is ruining the big day over a guest list issue.  

  • I told her that if my partner of 3 years isn't welcome, then i'm not really in a gift-giving mood anymore.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • I told her she has one week to find a new way to pay the bakery deposit because I'm cancelling my payment.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • Now my parents are calling me selfish, saying i'm ruining her big day over a guest list issue.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639

  • The real joke is how often weddings turn into emotional spreadsheets. The older sister wants the cake and the full guest list she likes but not the full reality of her sibling’s life. The younger sister just notices that if she is not family enough to bring her long term partner then her contribution should not be family enough to pay for dessert.  

  • They say the cake and the guest list are two different things, but I feel like if im not family enough to have my partner there, my money shouldnt be family enough to pay for her dessert.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639

  • This one’s pretty much goes without saying. She is obviously not out of line here. She is just the person who finally treated the cake like a contract that can be canceled if the conditions change.

  • AITJ? TL;DR: My sister uninvited my long term boyfriend from her wedding to save space, so I told her I'm no longer paying for her $600 wedding cake.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • MorningElectrical110 Exactly. If she's letting a cousin's new-ish partner come but cutting out someone you've been with for three years, that's not about logistics it's about prioritizing certain people over others. Saying "we can't have your partner but we still want your money for the cake" is completely unreasonable. Standing your ground here makes total sense.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • Last-Upstairs-2639 Original Poster's Reply Thats exactly what i told her! the cake part is what really annoyed me. like how can you ask for money after doing that? Thanks for understanding.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • parodytx NTJ. A sister's +1 always trumps other family's +1's especially if you are limiting guests. She FAFO for real.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • provvessae She turned your generous gift into a transaction where your partner's value is less than your cousin's roommate. Withdrawing your funding isn't selfish; it's the only logical currency she seems to understand.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • writing_mm_romance Tell Mom and Dad they can step if it means that much to them. up
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • pennydreadful11 When my brother got married, my bf of 4 years wasn't invited because 'he's a stranger'. I wasn't even trying to get a full day invite, I'm talking the evening. My other brother's literal tinder date of three weeks (before the wedding) was invited to the whole day. No one understood why I had an issue and why I still haven't forgotten it to this day. Although meanly I'm the last one laughing - obviously the tinder date didn't last, and the og couple are divorced. Whereas | have co
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • Educational_Fill4275 Absolutely. It's one thing to juggle a guest list, but it's a completely different thing to make arbitrary exceptions that clearly favor some people over others. Expecting OP to still pay for the cake after actively excluding her long-term partner is just unfair. She's not overreacting she's protecting herself and setting a boundary, and that's completely reasonable.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • EmergencyBase9967 Yeah, that's what got me. It's one thing to have to make tough guest list calls, but this? This is straight up "we want your cash not your person," and that's fair grounds to step back.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • Aggravating_Button99 NTA Good for your for sticking up for him,cespecially when she prioritizes "new guy".
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • AdmiralTodd509 NTA, when your sister uninvited your boyfriend, she blew things up, not you. Your parents just want to keep the peace, they are not worried about your feelings.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639
  • Few-Tone-9339 She can pack sand. Fuck that. Take your man away for that weekend instead.
    via Last-Upstairs-2639

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